Since the start of my blogs I made a conscious decision never to allow negativity and mockery of anyone who chooses to walk this journey with me. Whether on the fringe or right by my side. There are several established natural hair communities where women come together to share their experiences and are able to connect in a meaningful way. Many of these groups are growing and it is fantastic to see the amount of participation and interest in natural beauty. However, along with the positives some very ugly negatives have appeared.
What really upsets me about some of these cyberspaces is the flighting of pictures of women with alopecia for comic relief. I have seen some crazy, weird and even some funny hairstyle pictures that can crack a person up. However, this is a platform where we share insight and knowledge on how to adorn ourselves with our God-given crowns. It is a place where we come to share in that feminine spirit. Appearance matters. If it didn’t then none of us would be here doing any of what we do. There would be no beauty industry and nobody would need to be interested in any HOW TO anything. But here we are, all trying to add to our knowledge and skills on how to better adorn ourselves.
Alopecia takes away from a ones appearance. That is a familiar fact. So why is it funny? Given we are aware that a woman with alopecia of any kind may feel insecure about her appearance. Whether self-inflicted or not alopecia can be a source of pain, distress and or discomfort. Why is it funny? Why do we circulate these images and why do we allow others to do it in our presence?
Women are the seat of life. We birth and rear the future. So why do we rip and tear at each other the way we do? What kind of a woman does it make me when I point out the flaws in another and laugh about it? Whenever I have spoken to men about the absolute inequalities between men and women their responses have been along these lines: Women lack cohesion, they generally don’t like one another, they can’t get along, women don’t know how to follow everyone wants to be the leader. I know many women that are massive pillars of support. I have encountered supportive female spirits in the most unlikely places. Women have hoisted me plenty of times. Much of what I have achieved has been due to the support of the women folk around me. When we mock one another there can be no unity, victory nor pride. Do we want to stand together to re-write the script of beauty or do we fall apart separately?
I have to admit this is the third draft of this post. Those of you who know me, know that I have a deep raspy male voice. The first two drafts were at a Mariah Carey pitch. What good would they serve? If I scream you cannot listen and what I want to say will be muffled by the noise. I ask you to consider the following; the next time you come across a picture of an alopecia sufferer: What if this was my flaw being mocked? For those of you who were wondering why I am not active on group pages, this is the reason why. I refuse to stand by and watch as images of women are shared for comic relief. Or watch as those with ‘not good enough hair’ are insulted. If that picture was mine or of someone I know I would be hurt and I may say some very unpopular things on social media. More than that I just don’t think its right. The woman may be unknown to me but the world is a very small place and technology shrinks it daily.
So I ask you: What kind of a woman do you want to be? The kind that laughs at how someone looks or the kind that appreciates that even with a challenge a woman is out there doing the best she can, with where she is, what she has and what she knows?
See, hear and speak LOVE NATURALLY